Hi, I’m Chloe, a one and a half year old bichon frise. I wanted to share my thoughts with you on something that happened today as a warning to all you other single bitches out there.
See, the thing is, I was stood up
Uncles Brent and G set up this blind date with willariah‘s shitzu, Billy. Now, I’ve never really had a thing for shitzus to be honest, but I was willing to give this stud a try. To prepare, yesterday I headed down to Petsmart and got this brand new pink, rhinestone-encrusted collar, Uncles Brent and G forked out $10 for a heart-shaped memory of my time in Toronto (they’re both dears, really), and I got a hot new leather lead. I’m a fan of leather (wink, wink).
So I’m all dolled up and ready to go. But this morning, Uncles Brent and G get an email from willariah saying Billy is going to have to cancel, with apologies.
Now, I think I’m pretty sexy and have something to offer any stud. I’m kind, cultured, STD-free, and am a great french-kisser (ask my uncles!). If Billy doesn’t want a piece of my action; fine! … So, what’s a girl to do? Stood up, dolled up, my esteem a tad wounded, what else would I do but … SHOP!
And damn it was sweet … I wandered through Yorkville, I lunched at Whole Foods, I wandered through Holts, I wandered through Hazelton Lanes, I bought myself a hot pink jacket and some Simple Solution training pads.
Lesson learned: Shopping solves most things girls!
As to Billy … Billy who?!