These Things I’ve Learned

These things I’ve learned…


Up until December 19, 2006, G and I have been away from each other for 5 days in 5+ years.  Aside from those 5 days and these 8 since he left for China, we’ve seen each other everyday. When I pause to think about that, it’s like wow! When I pause to think about it a little longer, it makes me reflect on the power of relationships. 

Relationships have a rhythm to them, and a routine. Ours is no different. G arrives each morning bright and squirrelly from the gym. He is always in motion on arrival with either a comment about the gym, or the newspaper or a critique about someone- or something-or-other while I am my usual sleepy self. Breakfast is had and I head off first. Before leaving I always give him a kiss on the cheek.

I’ve missed that kiss on cheek these past days.

During the course of the day G and I call each other to talk, or fire emails back and forth … it’s part of our relationship routine. These brief chats are not earthshaking
discourses on the meaning of life but simple things like ‘what you having
for lunch’, or ‘a new dvd has arrived’; or ‘how things going at
work today’.

Isn’t it strange how routine can prove the death of a relationship, yet, in its absence, is so dearly, heartbreakingly missed? 

I am invariably the first home and enjoy preparing dinner for him, though I’d never dare admit it. I look forward to 5pm when I go unlock the front door because I know he’ll be home soon. And then there he is, through the door, either miffed with work or high on life (rarely any in between). Again we greet with a peck on the cheek. He has his debrief time then, checking his email, reading this Xanga, surfing the Louis Vuitton site, and doing one of the many on-line surveys he attached to. We dinner together, watching Leslie spill out the news on Global. We clean up, have dessert with tea and get to watching our fill of trash tv. It is all seemingly so ‘the same’, so ‘routine’, so ‘domestic’. Yet, so wonderful when viewed through the prism distance affords.

Sure, G’s strange. He’s complex and fascinating and artsy and eccentric beyond belief. And he can be oh-so-difficult as artists often are.  His mind works like no other I’ve ever encountered. It exists on a different plane, a little askew from the norm. It will take a lifetime to know and understand him … and, you know, that’s just fine with me.

These things I’ve learned:

  • absence from G does make the heart grow fonder;
  • absence from G makes me sad;
  • time passes slowly when G is away.

His voice greets me first each morning; his voice sends me to the sandman each night. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

G gives meaning to my life. Part of who I now am (transformed because of our relationship) is defined by my attachment to him
. And that realization is overwhelmingly terrifying and utterly comforting.  As love, itself, often is.

I miss you hun.

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8 Responses to These Things I’ve Learned

  1. Anonymous says:

    Just like everything in live, when something or someone dissapear for a fairly long period, as the time goes on we realize how important or how much this thing or person affects us during it’s presence. Reading your post was scary for me because of Alex. Our one year anniversary is the 25th january but the day after he has to leave for Texas for 25 days. I mean we pull it throught when he was at quebec city and we could only see each other on the weekends but nothing like 25 days. And shortly after his training in Texas, if everything goes well, he’ll be deploy to Afghanistan for several months…I feel your heartache but take this as a challenge. A challenge that will solidify even more your relationship.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Green tea – I’ll make some today. I was just thinking, perhaps you can print this entry on some nice paper, frame it and hang it up. It’s that good!

  3. brooklyn2028 says:

    Such a sweet post! Hope time doesn’t pass TOO slowly. It’s so sweet how much you love him! Wish for that one day myself. ^^

  4. enRoute says:

    life’s like that…treasure what you have, while you still have it. =)

  5. Fatcat723 says:

    You shot an arrow into my romantic heart. The relationships between you and G is something I long for but never found. I still have hope but it fades as I grow older. Routine sounds back but you know it is good and healthy. Besides reading your posts I think there is plenty of variety too.
    RYC: Words have always been the most powerful weapon when ones know how to use them.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I think of all the entries you’ve written, this is my favorite.

  7. willariah says:

    aww:) so sweeet!!! g must be gushing on the other side of the continent right now. u are missed by me also, g! :)

  8. Dear Brent,
    Here, I have compiled a list of things in response to this particular post.
    1.  You are so sweet!!!2.  G is so sweet!!!3.  Kiss on the cheek everyday?!  That’s SO romantic!4.  I love how you describe the routine…so cute!5.  I hope my time of routine and love will arrive soon…haha.6.  Ah, such an inspiring post!
    And lastly…
    7.  Louis Vuitton site?!  Haha!

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