I Got Licked

I like being Licked.


We were bad tonight and met Maddy at Licks for dinner. Now, Licks is strange. I crave it. I love the whole hokey-pokey ‘we’re-happy-to-be-working-here’ sing-along farce the staff throw up while preparing your meal (even though it always seems a little forced). I love that Lickees (employees who work there are called Lickees, aren’t they?) always seem to be outside handing out buy-one-get-one free coupons. I love the fact they ask for your name and use it when serving you. I love that I will sometimes cheat and give them some bizarre long name instead.


Lickee: “Hi, can I get your name?”


Me: “Sure, it’s Hadukey Montebello.”


(glazed and puzzled look comes over Lickee’s face)


Me: “Oh, sorry, just kidding. My name is One Hung Low.”


(continued puzzled and now a tad miffed look crosses the Lickee’s face)


“Sorry, fooling you again. Joe. My name’s Joe Smith.”


(which isn’t really lying because my great grandfather actually was Joseph Smith … honest!)


Anyway, I love Licks burgers, I love goo (that awful artery-cogging dressing they put on them). I love that they use real shredded cheese not a processed slice, though the fries leave me a little cold (though I note: french fries leave me cold pretty much anytime).


I adore eating Licks burgers. It reminds me of my childhood. I remember being 7 or 8 and my papa would drive my sister and I out to Brampton to McDonalds, usually once a month, usually on Sundays. He’d go in and order up supper for us (this was way before the advent of drive-thrus). He’d return with my Filet-o-Fish and small fries and we’d sit in the parking lot and chow down and map out the coming week’s adventures at equestrian (for my sister), swimming practices (for me) and school (for both of us). Afterwards, he’d drive us down Main Str (or was it Queen Str?) into downtown Brampton proper. We go past the stately homes, City Hall, and the new Go Station before returning home past Chinguacousy Park.


The problem with Licks, of course, is afterwards … I don’t know about you, but I always suffer PLBC (Post Licks Burgers Cramps/Craps [take your pick]). I feel ‘gugh’ (not to be confused with goo) afterwards and I say, “Never again, I can’t stomach another Licks burger”.


… But invariably as I’m hiking up to Eglinton Station passing Licks some Lickee is standing outside handing out buy-one-get-one-free coupons and so – again – I’m suckered in.

Thursday’s moment: A Sure Sign of Spring


I went for a walk this afternoon;

and everywhere, 


welcoming spring.

Bluebells everywhere in Mount Pleasant Cemetery

Thursday’s interesting (yet unsubstantiated) fact: Lord of the Rings costing
As a follow-up to my review of LOTR, I was speaking to X last night at opera performance. X is very connected in the theatre world here in Toronto and knows (name removed) and (name removed). I was telling him about my LOTR experience and he mentioned that the set (which I thought was brilliant) cost $28M out of a total budget of $40M. Wowza! The show will run till September at which point – rumour control has it – it will be sold off to London and rewritten. We will have to see if that comes true or not.

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11 Responses to I Got Licked

  1. Fatcat723 says:

    Did you say something? I wasn’t listening. Something about being licked?!?!?!?

  2. Anonymous says:

    wow finally someone who i have some questions for! lol so you’ve been to auberge eh? yeah out of all the restaurants i think auberge tops it. and i have been through a few restaurant in toronto as an apprentice and student.  I have been an cook apprentice at North 44, Rain and Luce. and all of which are 2nd best compared to Auberge. NOT because i am currently workin at Auberge. but it’s the way auberge keeps their kitchen so clean and organzied. we spend about 2 and half hours each day just cleaning in total. after lunch rush, we scrub down the kitchen. before the dinner rush starts, we sweep and mop down the kitchen. after the last order is out. we do a total scrub down , sweet and mop and organzie all 3 walk in fridges, back storage room, and just the WHOLE KITCHEN.
    Rain is one of those restaurants that is only popular due to their show ” made to order “. me and my friend, Dave, who is currently a 1st cook at Rain. we went to cooking school together and I worked with him at Rain for a few months. It was fun and entertainting. but that’s all it was.
    so which restaruant or what do you do ? because sounds like you are also in the culinary field.
    and thanx for the compliments for my menu.

  3. Lee_Xiayou says:

    Wow. No one produces Norma anymore.

  4. thank you for your comment–but sadly, no chocolate.  haha.

  5. kunhuo42 says:

    hmm…  well when you come down to la you’ll have to try in-n-out and compare it to licks.  ah, spring is here…

  6. bennykan says:

    I like burgers too. But the burgers sold in Vancouver are so overpriced except the ones in McDonald’s. The cheese melted on the bread just tastes sooo good. As for Spring, Vancouver has weird weather lately. Today’s weather was absolutely like the weather back from November. Rainy and Windy. I wonder what’s wrong? ?_?

  7. Anonymous says:

    lol yeah.. if you call that teaching.. i mean. took him forever to peel potatoes. how can i teach him other things if he cant even complete 1 task. 

  8. Anonymous says:

    That burger looks NICE! Haven’t had a nice burger for ages! There’s this little Chinese restaurant cross the street from my apartment, I order from them at least 4 days a week, they don’t have a fixed menu, they would tell you what kind of raw stuff they have that day, and you can tell them what style and flavour you want. Sort of like home cooking without actually cook. I love it!

  9. mmm… sounds good=]and are there ‘in and outs’ there? =]

  10. Anonymous says:

    heh thanks for being the only fully supportive one… and i don’t think there are licks here. look better than mcdonald’s though!

  11. Anonymous says:

    Licks – I haven’t been there in ages, I’m not sure my stomach, erm, waistline can handle anymore. And that’s a nice shot of the flowers.

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